Until You
by lucyspencer
Summary: Scenes from Elliot's 50th birthday. Just a cheerful little EO one-shot.


Hello! I didn't plan on this, but I had a request for an "Elliot's 50th birthday" fic and this is what I came up with. This is a one shot, written in one sitting with minimal proofreading and editing at 5 AM, so if you're looking for ~art you may be disappointed.

 **A/N:** Basically good wholesome family entertainment. I made myself a little sick with how good and wholesome it is. However, if it squicks you out to see a couple happy post-infidelity because you feel like cheating is being rewarded, you may want to skip this. Some implied sex but you can handle it. Title and quotes from _arms_ by christina perri. Yes, I used this song in TG. It's not lazy, it's ~meaningful.

This is set in TG-verse. If you've read that, you'll hopefully notice a lot of little references and a couple of hints as to upcoming events. If you haven't read TG, this fic is really kinda self-explanatory. Elliot and Olivia are a couple. They have children. That's pretty much all the background info you need.

Comments/questions/concerns? Hit me up here or on twitter at lucythespencer.

* * *

You wake up as soon as you hear the first little sound coming from the room next door. "S'ok, I got her- El?"

The other side of the bed was empty but still warm, so you know he couldn't have gotten far, and you stand up and put on your robe to ward off the early morning chill. A knee-length white dress hanging on the back of the closet door catches your eye. Soon, you think to yourself, absentmindedly playing with the band on your left ring finger.

You find Elliot sitting in the glider chair in the corner of the nursery, your daughter nestled in the crook of his arm as she takes her bottle. "I told you I'd get her, birthday boy..."

"I know you did," he says, looking up at you with a smile. "But maybe I wanted to start my day by seeing my best girl."

"So I've been replaced?" you tease, going around to the other side of the room so Lilly can see you as you say good morning and make the accompanying sign as you speak.

"I dunno, she's pretty cute."

You stand behind the chair and knead the muscles in his shoulders with your thumbs. Lately he's been waking up in the morning with her, giving her a bottle and getting her ready for the day so that you can have another precious hour of sleep before it's time to get Noah up for school. You had intended to take over for him this morning because it was his birthday, but you obviously weren't fast enough. "Mmhmm, a younger woman already? Slow down with the midlife crisis, Grandpa, you haven't even been 50 for a full day yet."

"Looks like Mom's jealous, huh Lillybug?" Elliot says in a loud whisper.

"Give me my baby." He hands her over once she's finished eating, and you hold her up so that you're face to face. "Momma loves you. Yes!" you add when she coos at the sound of your voice, little hand moving furiously. It's only in the last week or so that you've seen her try to imitate you when you sign, and you've caught her lying in her crib and watching her hand repeat the same motion again and again, almost like she's 'talking' to herself. "Are you gonna be good for Tio today?"

She'll be six months old next week, but you can count the number of times you've left her with a sitter one hand (and still have fingers left over). The only reason you're leaving her with Nick today is because you and Elliot have plans and you don't know how receptive to babies they are at the place where you're going. Elliot promises it'll be a good thing for everyone involved, but you're not so sure. Nick _does_ need a hands-on refresher course in infant care, though- Baby Girl Amaro is going to be making her debut sometime in between Christmas and New Year's. "Okay love, Daddy's going to get you dressed while I wake your brother up, okay?"

You steal kisses from both of them as you make the hand-off.

 _{I never thought that you  
_ _would be the one to hold my heart}_

Noah's already sitting up in his racecar bed, waiting somewhat patiently for you to tell him that he can leave the room. "Morning momma."

"Good morning, my big guy. Do you remember what day it is? It's Daddy's birthday."

"Happ'birdday to you!" he sings, bouncing up and down on his knees. His own 3rd birthday had been the week before, so he was already in the spirit. "I'm kitty?"

"Yes, you got to play with kitties on _your_ birthday. But not today. Today you're going to school."

"Kitty?"

"Nope. No kitty." Before he can get too disappointed, you change the subject. "Can you go sing your birthday song for Daddy?"

He nods and runs into the living room, and a second later you can hear him belting out the tune. Although he's still a little behind his classmates when it comes to speaking and vocabulary, he has a pretty remarkable talent for memorizing the words to songs, even if he's a little shaky when it comes to the melodies.

"That's great, buddy," Elliot tells him. Without prompting, Noah kneels down so that he's at eye level with his sister and signs 'hello', 'good morning,' and 'let's eat breakfast'. He memorizes signs so quickly- much faster than you and his father do- that you have to remind him to use the words that go along with them.

"You're such a good big brother." And he is, he's adapted to having a sibling about as well as you can expect from a three year old even if sometimes 'that baby so loud.' "What cereal are you going to eat today?"

He picks out his breakfast while Elliot fixes applesauce for Lilly. Ever since she started eating solids about a month ago, the only foods that have passed through her lips were homemade by none other than Tio Nick. He may not be a great cook, but he sure can blend organic gluten free locally grown baby foods, and he's considering branching out into selling his creations at farmer's markets next summer. And of course, by then he'll have an extra little taste tester of his own.

"Did you hear anything else from Kathleen about tonight?" you ask Elliot.

"Nah, no change in plans. I said it'd really make my birthday great if she didn't have to bring d-"

"Stop," you say in the firm but gentle tone you use with Noah when he starts throwing Legos. Kathleen has a new boyfriend, and Elliot's initial reaction to him made throwing Legos look calm and diplomatic. "He's good to her, and they care about each other, and we are going to be happy for them no matter what _our_ opinions are because that's what families do."

"He's not my family," Elliot huffs.

"But _she's_ your daughter."

He turns toward Lilly, whose mouth is open wide for another spoonful of applesauce. "Lillian, you wouldn't do that to your daddy, right?"

You roll your eyes and Noah cackles like he's in on the joke.

"No, Daddy," Elliot continues in a little girl voice, signing as much as he can. "I'll only date boys you like, who are my _own_ age, and I'll definitely never move in with a- huh."

"What is it?"

"Do you know if there's a sign for du-"

" _Elliot_."

 _{but you came around and you  
_ _knocked me off the ground right from the start}_

"El, do you think I should check on her again before we go in?"

"What's she going to be doing that she wasn't five minutes ago?"

You sigh but slip your phone back into your pocket anyway. Being apart from Lilly- hell, just being out of the house without any kids in tow- was so unfamiliar that you didn't quite know what to do. It felt like forgetting your phone on the way to work, then constantly reaching for it all day out of habit before you remember that it's not there. "Fine."

"Sure you're not afraid?" he asks as he opens the door.

"Of this? No. I just had a baby six months ago, for God's sake. This is nothing."

As far as Nick knew, he was babysitting Lilly while the two of you went to brunch. What you were actually doing, though, was fulfilling a year-old promise.

You hadn't specifically planned to get it done on Elliot's birthday, but a few weeks ago you decided that it was time and that this would make a fitting birthday present. You had told him before that you'd get it done 'once I lose the baby weight', back when you were much more naive and didn't quite grasp the reality of the situation, and so your promise had to be amended to 'once I decide this is as good as it's going to get'. Your weight had plateaued in the last month or so, leaving you to think that this softer, rounder body was probably the new normal. And though you wouldn't mind dropping a few more pounds before you put on that dress in your closet next month, you're mostly okay with how things are now (and Elliot, for his part, is _very_ okay with it).

When you first talked with the tattoo artist Fin had recommended, you were envisioning something that would cover up the burn scar just below your hipbone. But after explaining to her what you wanted and having her take a look at the skin, you ended up choosing a different spot. She wasn't sure how clear the design would be if it was inked on top of the scar tissue, and you decided that having it look the way you wanted was more important than concealing the scar, and the whole thing was so full of metaphors for your life that it was almost poetic.

You hadn't told him exactly what you were going to get until after you made the appointment, and even then you didn't _tell_ him so much as you left the sketch next to the bathroom mirror for him to find. As soon as you did, you started second guessing yourself, worrying that he would hate it or (worse yet) not understand it at all. Maybe you should've picked something from a happier time, or at least not a time when he was punching holes in your walls and you were both sneaking around behind the backs of your significant others. But it represented a night that was so important, when it felt like the whole world had permanently shifted in less than 24 hours, and maybe part of you needed to acknowledge the things you had to go through and the mistakes you had to make before you could end up where you are now.

An hour later you leave the tattoo studio with three words inscribed in simple, delicate cursive on your hip.

 _this is real_

 _{hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling}_

For as much as Elliot had given you a hard time about being anxious to leave Lilly, he sure was quick to scoop her up like he hadn't seen her in months as soon as you got home. "Miss me, Lillybug?"

She gives him a big toothless grin, just like she does every day when he walks through the door. You had worried that you would feel jealous of him once his work schedule picked up again, that you might start to doubt whether you had made the right choice in becoming a stay at home mom, but so far all you've felt is gratitude at not having to juggle being a mom of two _and_ a cop. (And tired. You've also felt very tired.) You'll miss the job at some point, you're sure, but right now you're so busy with your family that you don't even have time to miss it.

Nick announces that he's going to head out for a few hours until he comes back to watch the kids while you're at dinner. He'll be a full time stay at home dad once his daughter is born, and the two of you joke about how great it is that you'll both be housewives together. You've tried to make 'mommy friends' and haven't been wildly successful, probably because you're old enough to be the mother of most of the women you meet, so you're excited to have someone to chase toddlers and drink afternoon coffee with.

You get Lilly settled for a nap and then look at the clock.

"How much time?" Elliot asks, and you mentally calculate how long you have until you need to go fetch Noah from school.

"About 45 minutes. Think that's enough, old man?"

You laugh as he pushes you down onto the bed, careful not to touch the tender area around your new tattoo. These stolen moments are the closest thing you're going to have to a romantic getaway for quite some time. Neither of you are ready to leave Lilly overnight, especially not while you're still getting up to feed her once or twice a night, so your 'honeymoon' will likely consist of checking into some hotel for a few hours and then going home to eat takeout on the living room couch once the kids are asleep.

"Hey. What're you doing?" he asks as you get up from the bed and sink down to your knees on the rug, settling yourself between his thighs.

"What's it look like?" You've already got his pants unzipped, rubbing him through his boxers. "I mean, it _is_ your birthday..."

"You sure?" It's kind of a silly question to ask as you're tugging his jeans down, but you understand. You've only done this once before, while you were still pregnant, and you never really talked about doing it again after that.

You take both his hands in yours and move them until they're resting on your shoulders. "Very sure."

 _{and I've never opened up  
_ _I've never truly loved until you}_

There's five minutes left on the clock before someone needs to leave to pick up Noah, but both of you are still stretched out together on top of the rumpled comforter. "So how's 50 feel, grandpa?"

"So far so good. Hey, maybe we should tell the girls we can't make it to dinner and we'll have Nick watch the kids while we hide out in here?"

"You _really_ do not want to have to see him, do you?"

"Who, dum-"

"God... you are ridiculous," you say, slapping him lightly on the arm. "The girls will be happy to see you, and there's no way Nick's going to sit in the living room with the kids while we have sex. Which, I don't blame him. I don't think I could even do it anyway knowing that he's listening. He's heard enough." You hear Lilly whimpering in the nursery and start to get up, but Elliot beats you to it. "I can get her, El, you don't have to."

"Don't worry about it. Remember? I'm spending my birthday with my best girl."

 _{you put your arms around me and I'm home}_


End file.
